They have locked me in a basement, and the only communication I have with the outside world is item descriptions on spicyboyz.net. I am emaciated and cold, and I feel death looming. I fear for I may never see my wife and beautiful children again. Please, if you are reading this; they have told me they will release me if I sell 5 of these dummy thicc Champion X Spicy Boyz MF Hoodies. Please, buy 5–a different one for each day of a standard work week.
• 82% cotton, 18% poly fleece
• 69% fard, 420% shid
• Unique scrunch-dye, tie-dye pattern
• Two-ply hood with matching drawcords
• Make it a combo meal for $4.99